i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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