I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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