Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
