Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sponge bath it is.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
