Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
