**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
A+ Viking dick
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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