I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My life is pants optional.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
