she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
