Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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