dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
