I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
