PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You can't special order awesome
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize