i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
