Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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