Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
