he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You don't make any sense
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