oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
