its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
