awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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