her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
