every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
