so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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