I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize