so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
