guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
