wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
