I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
