sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
