He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Are my feet made of real feet?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
