He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
