one might say we're banned from that church
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
