your room smells of hookers.
And success
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
