He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This house was built for laser tag.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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