we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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