dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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