no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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