I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
