i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize