the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
