we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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