He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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