My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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