im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
