the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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