Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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