She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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