Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
