i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
