remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think people are normalizing furries
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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