Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
