Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
