Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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