You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
