So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
