Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
