2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
