Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
