Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize