I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
