He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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