Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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