you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
