I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
