get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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